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how to build sexual tension

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A lack of sexual tension leads you to getting friend zoned or ghosted after the first or second date. And building it is key if you want to get laid. 

In almost every interaction with the girl, there needs to be a man-to-woman vibe. So let’s get into the different ways to building it.

Sexual Eye Contact

Stare into her soul. Pretend that you are seeing your own reflection in her eyes. Break contact every once in a while, but make sure to keep staring at her.

When she starts talking, glance at her lips.

You might be thinking that this eye contact is intimidating, and it definitely is, but it’s a great way to build sexual tension. 

Verbal Escalation

There are many ways to escalate verbally. Four ways that I have seen work best are compliments, pausing, push pull lines, and letting her talk more than you.


Compliments are an easy way to show that you are attracted to her. Let her know that she looks good. Depending on the intensity of the conversation and the area you are at determines what you can say. For example “I like your jeans” or “Your ass looks nice in those jeans”. Different cases for each of them.

An easy way to get going is to start the date saying she looks great.. 


You need to slow down when you talk. When you are talking to an attractive girl, you tend to speed up and raise your voice. Slow down and talk a bit deeper. 

Using phrases like ahh I see, gotcha, ok, and mhmm also add to it.

Combine this with the staring and it really starts the sexual tension. 

Push Pull Lines

Push Pull lines are ways to flirt with contradiction.

We have an article explaining push pull lines in more detail, but using these will really help make her more attracted to you. 

Let Her Do The Talking

Let her sell yourself to you. She should be talking at least 60 to 70% of the time. You should lead the conversation by asking her questions about herself. 

Girls tend to talk a lot more than guys so this shouldn’t be too difficult.

Stop talking and let her tell you about herself. If you talk too much, it kills attraction. 

Physical Escalation

Touching at the start of the date

Start the day with some sort of physical attraction. A nice hug and a kiss on the cheek always works great.

Physical contact during the date

Even if its something minor like touching an arm or leg, it helps establish the man to woman vibe rather than friends meeting for a drink. 

Also while out on a date, try to sit side to side rather than sitting across from each other. It’s much easier to get physical that way. If you can find a way to walk or do some sort of an activity, it’s even easier. Walking around a mall, miniature golfing, and bowling are all really easy ways.

Getting Close

Get close to her and invade her personal space. Make it slightly uncomfortable.


If you are walking around, pull her close to you and keep your arm around her. Holding hands also helps a bit.

Final Thoughts

Don’t overcomplicate this. Building sexual tension is easy if you follow the steps presented in this article.

Check out some of our other blog posts as well to make sure your dates go smoothly.

Have fun

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